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- <text id=94TT1546>
- <title>
- Nov. 07, 1994: Books:Take These Books, Please
- </title>
- <history>
- TIME--The Weekly Newsmagazine--1994
- Nov. 07, 1994 Mad as Hell
- </history>
- <article>
- <source>Time Magazine</source>
- <hdr>
- ARTS & MEDIA/BOOKS, Page 80
- Take These Books, Please
- </hdr>
- <body>
- <p> First they got their own hit TV shows. Now stand-up comics like
- Tim Allen and Paul Reiser are writing best sellers too
- </p>
- <p>By Richard Zoglin--With reporting by Georgia Harbison/New York and Jeffrey Ressner/Los
- Angeles
- </p>
- <p> Have you looked at the best-seller list lately? I mean, it's
- like browsing through the Sunday TV listings. Couplehood, by
- Mad About You co-star Paul Reiser, has been in the Top 10 for
- the past eight weeks. Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man,
- by Home Improvement's Tim Allen, just landed at No. 1. Jerry
- Seinfeld's SeinLanguage spent five weeks in the top spot last
- fall and is about to come out in paperback. Dennis Miller, Garry
- Shandling and Ellen DeGeneres (star of ABC's Ellen) have books
- in the works too.
- </p>
- <p> The thing about these books--they're not really books. They're
- comedy routines on paper. For people with attention spans geared
- to television. Short chapters. Short paragraphs. Short sentences.
- They have the rhythms of stand-up monologues. Lots of conversational
- asides, jokey hyperbole and the sort of slangy sentence structure
- you don't usually see in print. So what did you think, you were
- getting Middlemarch?
- </p>
- <p> Real books start on page 1; Reiser starts his on page 145. "This
- way," he goes, "you can read the book for two minutes, and if
- anybody asks you how far along you are you can say, `I'm on
- 151--and it's really flying.'" Like we really need help getting
- through these books. "Hey, this chapter on Wittgenstein's phenomenology
- is a real stumper. Hand me the dictionary!"
- </p>
- <p> Bill Cosby started the trend in 1986 with Fatherhood. A bunch
- of his stand-up material collected in 178 easy-to-read pages.
- Sold 2.5 million copies in hardback and spent 55 weeks on the
- best-seller list. Then last year came SeinLanguage, which has
- sold 1.2 million so far. Like people aren't getting enough of
- this guy on Thursday nights.
- </p>
- <p> Seinfeld's book is pretty funny, if you can keep his stand-up
- delivery in your head. Here he is on magicians: "What is the
- point of the magician? He comes on, he fools you, you feel stupid,
- show's over...It's like, `Here's a quarter. Now it's gone.
- You're a jerk.'" And on people picking up dog poop: "If aliens
- are watching this through telescopes, they're going to think
- the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life
- forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying
- it for him, who would you assume is in charge?"
- </p>
- <p> Reiser is sort of a more evolved Seinfeld. This guy is married,
- see, and so he talks about the little problems, compromises,
- joys and frustrations of married life. The trouble is, his insights
- aren't all that original or funny. Like: "You become a little
- team...Your partner becomes the one person in the world you
- can go over to and say, `Do I have anything in my nose?'" Actually,
- Reiser is funnier with stuff like how dumb fish are. "They don't
- see that whole pattern. Worm/death. Worm/death. I would catch
- on."
- </p>
- <p> Okay, Tim Allen's book does get a little heavier. It even gets
- into his imprisonment for drug dealing. Great anecdote: He's
- with 10 guys in a holding cell, and the toilet is in the middle
- of the cell. He's petrified to use it, but finally he has to.
- All the guys move menacingly toward him--then turn their backs
- and form a horseshoe around him so he has privacy.
- </p>
- <p> The thing about Allen--his macho-guy persona gets old real
- fast. All that talk about power drills and Lava soap and walking
- around the house "looking for things to rewire." Just how universal
- is this? If anything in my house needs rewiring, I'm on the
- phone to Rescue 911.
- </p>
- <p> At least the comics themselves aren't pretending to be literary
- giants or anything. Allen says, "Publishers will do a book with
- anyone they think is hot." Reiser talks about "the consumer
- mentality--we like something, what other flavor does it come
- in? We like that TV show, does it come in a book form? Does
- it come in a capsule? How about a soup?"
- </p>
- <p> But the publishers say a hit comedy show doesn't necessarily
- translate into a hit book. It needs a theme. Erwyn Applebaum,
- publisher of Bantam Books, which put Seinfeld and Reiser into
- print, says, "Now comedians who have never been known to read
- a book are thinking that they can write one." Robert Miller,
- publisher of Hyperion, claims his company wanted Allen to do
- a book well before Home Improvement became a hit: "This guy
- had made his reputation and (stand-up) act out of getting way
- deep into the complexities of male-female differences. That
- seemed like a very good subject for us."
- </p>
- <p> Right, and what if Home Improvement had bombed? Then people
- are in the bookstore going, "Hey, here's a book by that guy
- whose show was canceled last season after eight weeks. Let's
- go pick up a copy of Middlemarch."
- </p>
- </body>
- </article>
- </text>
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-